And warmer temperatures. And Wiggleworms! Today was our first baby music class put on by the people at the Old Town School of Folk Music. It was awesome. There are four babies and moms that come and it meets in the Hyde Park Art Center just three blocks from our house. We sing songs, the babies play under a parachute while the moms make it move around and blow their tiny baby minds, they play with bubbles, and best of all they get to hit a humongous drum. Seriously, there's a huge drum, called 'The Gathering Drum' that they get to whack at with their little tiny hands. Lily is an expert at this. She is very much into whacking things right now. In fact, if she can whack one object with another object it pretty much makes her day. All of the moms are affiliated with the University in some way or another, and they all live in Hyde Park. I even exchanged phone numbers with a woman who lives just up the street from us to go for a walk sometime. This was sort of a big deal for me. (If you're reading this new friend, I'm totally normal and not anxious at all.)
I've been trying to make mom friends, but it just isn't going very well. I went to a couple of play groups in the area, but it was just strange. It seems like baby groups tend to attract the people that are trying to do everything they can to get their baby into Yale. And are very proud that they are doing it. I mean, yes, I'm trying to do everything I can to help Lily be a happy, well adjusted person but I'm not speaking three languages in the home, going to five different baby groups each week for baby socialization, and analyzing every milestone as ahead or behind the average baby. I am feeding her healthy, home made food, reading to her, singing and playing with her, taking her interesting places and going for walks/jogs/runs almost every day. We randomly do some baby sign language when I think about it, which is probably less than once a day, so I'm not really banking on that working at all. I feel like I turned out pretty ok and I didn't watch any Baby Einstein videos. I feel like love and attention is all they really need for now.
For some reason, thankfully, the Wiggleworms moms aren't like that. At least not that I noticed in our first class. I'm very excited to have something to go to each week again. And I'm more excited that it's close enough for us to walk to. And I get to walk home with a friend.
4.29.2011
4.25.2011
Week 16
I ended up at 170. I really wanted to be able to say 169. I was hovering around that number all week, and then there was Easter. I'm close though. Since Lily just turned 9 months on Saturday, I've been thinking a lot about being back in the 160's, where I was before I was pregnant. I know they say 9 months on and 9 months off. Well, I was there in February. Two, almost three, months later I'm trying to claw my way back there. I'm having a really hard time eating right. I feel hungry all the time, and since this blessed cold and rain won't go away all I want is warm comfort food. (I know it's not that cold, but it's just so dreary.) Sigh. I'll just keep plugging along and try not to eat cheese at every sign of hunger.
M: Upper 3x15 @ 5lbs
T: Lower
W: 1 hr cheesy dance cardio video.
Th: Core
F: Upper and lower 3x10 @ 7.5lbs
S: 3 mile run 32:04, legs felt heavy
S: rest
M: Upper 3x15 @ 5lbs
T: Lower
W: 1 hr cheesy dance cardio video.
Th: Core
F: Upper and lower 3x10 @ 7.5lbs
S: 3 mile run 32:04, legs felt heavy
S: rest
4.24.2011
Easterness
Happy Easter! I made a chocolate mousse cake to bring to my mom's house. The crust was made with dark chocolate, butter, crushed up shortbread, and sliced toasted almonds. The cake was made with chocolate, whipped cream, and Frangelico. It was a really easy recipe that I managed to screw up twice. I didn't account for the high water content of the hazelnut liquor and it made the chocolate seize up. So I had to rescue it with some extra cream. I decorated it with some white chocolate lace that I hand piped, marzipan eggs that I piped small decorations on, edible flowers and mint leaves. I think it turned out quite lovely.
Here's a closeup of the egg and flower on the very top, and so you can see the intricacy of the lace better. I really liked this technique. It's super easy, but turns out very elegant. I printed out a lace pattern that I liked, taped a piece of wax paper onto it, melted some white chocolate, and then traced the lace pattern with the chocolate in a piping bag. I let it harden over night then flipped it onto the cake and peeled off the wax paper. Voila! Chocolate lace!
Here's a shot from the top of the whole thing. I love it.
And no Easter is complete without an Easter Basket.
4.23.2011
9 Months!
Lily is 9 months old today! I feel like she's really grown up a lot in the past month. According to our home scale she's 15.5 lbs, but I'm not really sure how accurate that is. She is really close to crawling. She can get up on her hands and knees and she's got the leg movement down but can't figure out how to move her arms forward so she ends up falling on her face. Then she alligator crawls from there. But she sure keeps trying! She's also thinking about pulling herself up on things. She does a little baby plank/downward facing dog with her hands up on things. It's pretty cute. She also has two new teeth on the top, making four total.
And we finally got her a crib. When Lily went on her nursing strike she was sleeping pretty soundly, but was also a little torpedo next to me. Since she's gone back to nursing she is still having moments of squirminess. We were originally going to sidecar it to the bed, but it's not quite the right height, so now it's in the corner of our room. So a couple of nights ago she fell asleep on my lap as usual, and we just laid her down. She woke up a little bit, but after a few minutes she just went back to sleep. And then proceeded to sleep for the next 7 hours. It was glorious. Then she did the same thing the next night. I haven't felt this good since I was 5 months pregnant. Last night she wanted to be in bed with us again and that's fine. We're just playing it by ear. She lets us know when she wants to sleep with us and when she wants to sleep alone. Here's a picture of her in her new digs.
This afternoon the weather was so glorious we just couldn't stay inside for any length of time. We all went for a run this morning, then grocery shopping, then I took Lily to the park later in the afternoon. I decided to put her in a swing for the first time. She loved it! I just had to take a video of her laughing and squealing the whole time she was in it. I love it when she kicks and crosses her little feet.
4.21.2011
Who needs cable?
When we moved to Chicago we decided that we weren't going to get cable. Most of the things we watch are on network TV, and our Wii could stream anything we wanted from Netflix. Also, we can hook up my laptop to the TV to watch things on the big screen that we can only stream from other websites. This has been working out great.
Two weeks ago our 5 year old BluRay player died. So we replaced it with a new one that has it's own WiFi connection. So awesome! Netflix looks way better, though it is a bit slower. AND we discovered the amazingness that is Hulu Plus. Omigosh this thing is cool. Hulu Plus is great because we can watch current TV that we've missed, and it's basically like having cable. Except you can watch whatever you want, whenever you want. And you can create your own little marathon because they have entire seasons of shows. You can also stream some movies, and more interestingly, there is a whole section of exercise videos.
I love cheesy videos for days when it's crappy out, or I don't feel great but know that I'll regret not doing anything. I'm also a huge fan of yoga, but I'm not very good at coming up with my own practice. Classes here are ridiculously expensive (oh how I miss you Yoga Oasis!) and someone has to watch Lily. I get bored doing the same video over and over again, they can be kind of pricey, and the library doesn't have a great selection. Being able to just do it at home and switch it up anytime I want is perfect. Seriously, it's worth the small monthly fee just for this.
We can't watch EVERYTHING we could dream of because a lot of the premium channels don't allow their content on Hulu and it also doesn't have any sports, but that doesn't bother me. I can wait for Dexter to come out on DVD and I don't watch sports. Anyway, this wasn't a paid advertisement. I just love it so much.
Two weeks ago our 5 year old BluRay player died. So we replaced it with a new one that has it's own WiFi connection. So awesome! Netflix looks way better, though it is a bit slower. AND we discovered the amazingness that is Hulu Plus. Omigosh this thing is cool. Hulu Plus is great because we can watch current TV that we've missed, and it's basically like having cable. Except you can watch whatever you want, whenever you want. And you can create your own little marathon because they have entire seasons of shows. You can also stream some movies, and more interestingly, there is a whole section of exercise videos.
I love cheesy videos for days when it's crappy out, or I don't feel great but know that I'll regret not doing anything. I'm also a huge fan of yoga, but I'm not very good at coming up with my own practice. Classes here are ridiculously expensive (oh how I miss you Yoga Oasis!) and someone has to watch Lily. I get bored doing the same video over and over again, they can be kind of pricey, and the library doesn't have a great selection. Being able to just do it at home and switch it up anytime I want is perfect. Seriously, it's worth the small monthly fee just for this.
We can't watch EVERYTHING we could dream of because a lot of the premium channels don't allow their content on Hulu and it also doesn't have any sports, but that doesn't bother me. I can wait for Dexter to come out on DVD and I don't watch sports. Anyway, this wasn't a paid advertisement. I just love it so much.
4.18.2011
Photo Dump
It's been a while since I posted a bunch of photos. So here are some.
Lily got a shape sorter toy last week and the top part is the exact same size as her head. She doesn't mind wearing it as a hat if you put it on her.
Lily loves broccoli. She'll eat it plain, but if you mix it with a little bit of shredded cheese she can't get enough of it. As I was steaming some for her the other day, there was some extra so I gave her a piece to play with. I usually throw it in the food chopper before I give it to her, so this was her first encounter with an intact floret. She thought it was great fun and enjoyed gnawing on it.
I've been running with Lily in the stroller. She always falls asleep and looks super cute. No sooner do I switch from the uber warm down stroller liner to the lighter fleece one then it goes and snows. So I have to add an extra blanket and put her in a warm outfit again.
Here she is all dressed up for Joe's birthday. She loves to poke her tongue out of the corner of her mouth. She's also taken to licking and smacking her lips after every bite of food that she really likes. It's like watching a cartoon eat. I have no idea where she learned it from because Joe and I certainly don't sit at the table doing that as we eat.
Lily loves her raincoat.
This is my favorite shirt ever. It's a little onesie with a pair of aviator sunglasses and a pocket printed on it. And I totally want this jacket in my size.
Here's Lily with my brother Erik. She thinks he is one of the funniest people ever. The hat is my dad's.
That's probably all the cuteness you can handle in one post. I can't believe what a happy baby Lily has turned into. She loves to laugh and dance and eat. She also is a huge fan of snuggling with Joe, especially when he's wearing a big soft hoodie. Things are going pretty good and despite the snow, I'm hopeful for a good upcoming week!
Happy Birthday Joe!
Joe's birthday is today! He is 29. In one more year he will officially be old. We've pretty much been celebrating since Thursday. Saturday we went to the Chicago International Coin Show out in Rosemont and then had dinner with Joe's parents. Of course I made a cake. This is a dark chocolate cake with hazelnut cream filling and fudge chocolate frosting. It was pretty tasty. I made the hazelnut cream filling with Frangelico, a hazelnut liquor, and chopped hazelnuts. After icing the cake in the fudge, I added a large pearl border on the bottom and a medium pearl border along the top edge to coordinate with the small chocolate dots on the bow. I made the bow in my last cake class. It is a 50/50 mix of gumpaste and fondant. I added a little bit of yellow to give it an ivory hue. I like the simplicity of this cake. It's just perfect for Formality Joe.
Week 15
Ended up at 170. I tried really hard to be good this weekend and managed to do it for the most part. Running is feeling AWESOME. I have a tendency to just throw myself into running hard too quickly because I always think 'I'm a runner.' I am a runner, but I haven't been a regular runner in a long time. This slow ramp up is feeling great on my shins and hips, and I feel super strong. I can't wait for actual half marathon training to begin! I'm totally looking forward to my first 6 mile run.
M: 10 min warmup/cool down, 30 min run. Felt so great. Coulda run forever.
Tu: 3 x 12's at 5 lbs upper and lower.
W: Sprint intervals
Th: Rest.
F: Core
S: Rest
S: 3 x 1 mile runs, each 12 seconds faster than the last (10:06, 9:49, 9:37). So awesome!
M: 10 min warmup/cool down, 30 min run. Felt so great. Coulda run forever.
Tu: 3 x 12's at 5 lbs upper and lower.
W: Sprint intervals
Th: Rest.
F: Core
S: Rest
S: 3 x 1 mile runs, each 12 seconds faster than the last (10:06, 9:49, 9:37). So awesome!
4.15.2011
Wait, Wait... It's Joe's Birthday!
Well, not really. Joe turns 29 on Monday, but we celebrated last night. His parents came to watch Lily so we could go out (Thanks so much Hammons!). We made these plans before it was announced that Obama was descending upon Chicago.
First we went to dinner at La Petit Folie, a little French restaurant in the neighborhood. It was delicious. I had the wild mushroom crepes and Joe got some salmon dish. I do love me some savory crepes. There is a little crepe shop in Tucson we used to go to on the weekends. The crepes I had last night reminded me how much I miss that place. Then we were decadent and each got our own dessert. I had profiteroles and Joe got a chocolate tort. They were both excellent. The restaurant itself is very intimate with little tables, low lighting, and very professional waitstaff. Not a place we could take Lily to, but it was fun to try out.
Then we hopped in the car and drove downtown to the Chase Auditorium to see a live taping of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. It was lots of fun. Peter Sagal and Carl Kassel are hilarious. The guest celebrity was David Simon, the guy who did The Wire, among other things. I didn't know who the guest was going to be and The Wire is one of Joe's favorite TV shows ever, so that was a happy coincidence. It takes about 90 minutes for them to tape the show, and then they do some re-do's at the end. Finally, they answer questions from the audience and sign autographs. It was general admission seating, and even though we didn't arrive right when the doors opened, we got seats in the 3rd row on the right side. It's such a small theater, though, any seat would have been fine. The tickets are super cheap, and I would highly recommend going to see this sometime. I'm really excited to listen to the show on Saturday to see how they edit it all together.
Driving home was a bit of an adventure. Obama was at Navy Pier that evening, just a bit north of the Chase Tower. And he lives in Hyde Park, just down the street from us. He must have been leaving at about the same time as we were. Just as we were about to turn onto Lake Shore Drive the police threw up the barricades. Sigh. So we had to take surface streets all the way back down, and then figure out how to get to our building without getting in the way of the Secret Service. They closed all the streets for like 3 blocks in every direction of his house. It was a bit of a pain, but we finally made it. There were security helicopters circling the neighborhood all night, but since we had the windows closed it didn't bother us too much this time.
So it was a good birthday celebration. There will be cake and presents later this weekend. It was nice to be able to have an uninterrupted conversation through dinner, and only having to try to feed ourselves. It was also nice to be able to sit and listen/watch something without having a sleeping lump on my lap or worry about the noises she's making. And, of course, it was extra nice to come home again and all snuggle together in bed while the cold wind blew outside.
First we went to dinner at La Petit Folie, a little French restaurant in the neighborhood. It was delicious. I had the wild mushroom crepes and Joe got some salmon dish. I do love me some savory crepes. There is a little crepe shop in Tucson we used to go to on the weekends. The crepes I had last night reminded me how much I miss that place. Then we were decadent and each got our own dessert. I had profiteroles and Joe got a chocolate tort. They were both excellent. The restaurant itself is very intimate with little tables, low lighting, and very professional waitstaff. Not a place we could take Lily to, but it was fun to try out.
Then we hopped in the car and drove downtown to the Chase Auditorium to see a live taping of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. It was lots of fun. Peter Sagal and Carl Kassel are hilarious. The guest celebrity was David Simon, the guy who did The Wire, among other things. I didn't know who the guest was going to be and The Wire is one of Joe's favorite TV shows ever, so that was a happy coincidence. It takes about 90 minutes for them to tape the show, and then they do some re-do's at the end. Finally, they answer questions from the audience and sign autographs. It was general admission seating, and even though we didn't arrive right when the doors opened, we got seats in the 3rd row on the right side. It's such a small theater, though, any seat would have been fine. The tickets are super cheap, and I would highly recommend going to see this sometime. I'm really excited to listen to the show on Saturday to see how they edit it all together.
Driving home was a bit of an adventure. Obama was at Navy Pier that evening, just a bit north of the Chase Tower. And he lives in Hyde Park, just down the street from us. He must have been leaving at about the same time as we were. Just as we were about to turn onto Lake Shore Drive the police threw up the barricades. Sigh. So we had to take surface streets all the way back down, and then figure out how to get to our building without getting in the way of the Secret Service. They closed all the streets for like 3 blocks in every direction of his house. It was a bit of a pain, but we finally made it. There were security helicopters circling the neighborhood all night, but since we had the windows closed it didn't bother us too much this time.
So it was a good birthday celebration. There will be cake and presents later this weekend. It was nice to be able to have an uninterrupted conversation through dinner, and only having to try to feed ourselves. It was also nice to be able to sit and listen/watch something without having a sleeping lump on my lap or worry about the noises she's making. And, of course, it was extra nice to come home again and all snuggle together in bed while the cold wind blew outside.
4.11.2011
It's time...
For that cheery I-love-my-life post! Expect many superlatives and exclamation points.
1) The Lakefront Trail is amazing! Thirteen miles of smooth paved, well-maintained, stoplight and curb free bliss. It's right along the lakeshore and a bit away from the road. The grass is green and growing, trees are getting buds, birds are singing, daffodils and crocuses are blooming, and the lake has shifted to it's new warm weather palette of blues and greens. Most of the people are very nice and everyone tries to keep out of each other's way. Those few bikers that aren't need to get over themselves. You're not Lance Armstrong and I'm over as far as I can get. I even encountered my favorite little old man again. He always says "Have a most veek-TOOOR-ious day!" to me when I smile and say hello. I love it.
2) Exercise is awesome! I love using free weights at home and I love going out for runs. I feel sad when I don't to them and happy when I do. And I just got a dress for a wedding at the end of May that is one size to small. So now I have a very explicit goal.
3) Fondant is not the devil! Woah, that came out of the blue, you say. In my dream fantasy organic cakery business I've always seen myself as a fondant free kinda gal. It tastes gross, it's made from weird stuff, and it makes cake look not like cake. Well, it turns out it has its uses, and you can make it yourself out of marshmallows. Still not the most natural food product out there, but way tastier than the ready-to-use stuff. Will I ever choose to cover an entire cake in it? Probably not. Will I use it to make beautiful flowers and bows (that you probably aren't going to eat anyway)? Most definitely.
4) The windows can be open! This makes both Duncan and me very happy. The air is fresher and cooler (our apartment gets really hot), the bathroom actually dries out after a shower, and I like hearing some of the city noise drifting up.
5) Asparagus is in season! I love asparagus. And now I get to make my favorite recipe in the whole world: champagne risotto with prosciutto and asparagus. I'm drooling already.
There are like ten thousand other things that are contributing to my overall well-being, including Joe and Lily of course, but it would just get long and boring. Five is plenty.
1) The Lakefront Trail is amazing! Thirteen miles of smooth paved, well-maintained, stoplight and curb free bliss. It's right along the lakeshore and a bit away from the road. The grass is green and growing, trees are getting buds, birds are singing, daffodils and crocuses are blooming, and the lake has shifted to it's new warm weather palette of blues and greens. Most of the people are very nice and everyone tries to keep out of each other's way. Those few bikers that aren't need to get over themselves. You're not Lance Armstrong and I'm over as far as I can get. I even encountered my favorite little old man again. He always says "Have a most veek-TOOOR-ious day!" to me when I smile and say hello. I love it.
2) Exercise is awesome! I love using free weights at home and I love going out for runs. I feel sad when I don't to them and happy when I do. And I just got a dress for a wedding at the end of May that is one size to small. So now I have a very explicit goal.
3) Fondant is not the devil! Woah, that came out of the blue, you say. In my dream fantasy organic cakery business I've always seen myself as a fondant free kinda gal. It tastes gross, it's made from weird stuff, and it makes cake look not like cake. Well, it turns out it has its uses, and you can make it yourself out of marshmallows. Still not the most natural food product out there, but way tastier than the ready-to-use stuff. Will I ever choose to cover an entire cake in it? Probably not. Will I use it to make beautiful flowers and bows (that you probably aren't going to eat anyway)? Most definitely.
4) The windows can be open! This makes both Duncan and me very happy. The air is fresher and cooler (our apartment gets really hot), the bathroom actually dries out after a shower, and I like hearing some of the city noise drifting up.
5) Asparagus is in season! I love asparagus. And now I get to make my favorite recipe in the whole world: champagne risotto with prosciutto and asparagus. I'm drooling already.
There are like ten thousand other things that are contributing to my overall well-being, including Joe and Lily of course, but it would just get long and boring. Five is plenty.
Week 14
Stayed at 171. At least it's not higher. We ate a lot of not great food with the whole nursing strike. Also, I think this next week I'll up the number of reps since my body has remembered what it's like to workout. I was barely sore at all last week. I'm going to try to make up for the missed run, but our week is kind of busy so we'll see how that goes...
M: Upper body, two hour walk
T: Lower body
W: Core, 15 min walk warm up/cool down, 2 mile run (21:20),
Th: Rest
F: Upper and lower.
S: Core.
S: Rest (actually I just skipped my run. I was too tired/lazy to get up early enough before we had to leave.)
M: Upper body, two hour walk
T: Lower body
W: Core, 15 min walk warm up/cool down, 2 mile run (21:20),
Th: Rest
F: Upper and lower.
S: Core.
S: Rest (actually I just skipped my run. I was too tired/lazy to get up early enough before we had to leave.)
4.08.2011
Sleeping like a baby?
Whoever came up with that phrase clearly never had children.
Last week was absolutely glorious. Spring arrived, I was productive, things were going great. By Friday I was all set to write a cheery I-love-my-life post and then everything fell apart.
The past five days have been the some of the worst I've had in a very long time. Friday evening Lily went on a nursing strike. This doesn't sound like a big deal as I write it, but it completely turned our lives upside down. Lily has always been a huge comfort nurser. If things get a little too exciting during a round of peek-a-boo she likes to nurse for a few minutes to chill out. If we're in a room full of babies for more than 15 minutes she gets overwhelmed and wants to nurse. If she's bored, she wants to nurse. You get the picture. But even more importantly, she nurses to go to sleep and to stay asleep. So no nursing means no sleeping.
I know what you're thinking, well it's your own fault for letting her develop that habit. I don't really have a good retort to that because it is. But I do have a defense for making that choice. Lily had a really hard time gaining weight when she was a newborn and our pediatrician suggested that she sleep in bed with us so that she could nurse as often and as long as she wanted. (I miss you Dr. Callie!) We were planning on doing that anyway, but it was nice to have "permission" from the doctor. I had been sitting up with her nursing for hours at a time. The longest stretch was 12 hours. She would fall asleep and then immediately wake up if she stopped nursing. So we figured out how to nurse lying down. That way I could sleep while she was sleeping/nursing. It was amazing. And it kept working. We were getting regular sleep, Lily was growing, life was good.
We figured if it ain't broke, don't fix it. This was working for us, why should we try to change it just for the sake of change? By 6 months she was becoming a more "normal" sleeper in that she would still nurse to fall asleep, but then stop and roll over to sleep on her own for up to 6 hours at a time. Also, she was such a good nurser I wasn't concerned about taking her anywhere because I knew that if she got upset I could just nurse her for a bit and she'd be good to go.
So this nursing strike really hit us hard. After 2 nights of barely sleeping, driving and walking for hours to get her to sleep, she was at least able to sleep for 6 hours at a time at night again. I was surprised by how much this affected me emotionally. After having such a good few months of nursing, all the insecurities of how hard it was when we first started came rushing back. I felt inadequate and inept. I didn't know how to calm my daughter, I was exhausted, and I hated being a slave to the pump. I felt completely trapped in the apartment because I was afraid to go anywhere with her if she got upset, and anytime she was calm enough to be happy on her own I needed to be pumping. It was like starting all over with a newborn again, except this time I was pretty much on my own.
I basically spent four days in tears and super stressed out. Why is breastfeeding so hard? Monkeys manage to do it and they don't need support groups, lactation consultants, or herbal supplements. What about our 2% genetic difference makes it easier for them? On Wednesday I went to a breastfeeding support group to see if they could offer any help. Not so much, but it was nice to talk to some other moms and be out of the house. The LC said it was unlikely that she's ready to wean because she's less than 12 months old, so I should just keep trying. Driving home I decided that it was going to be ok. Lily was adjusting to the whole not nursing thing, she was happy, she was still gaining weight, I would pump as much as I could and supplement with formula as needed, and things would be fine. When we got home she played on the floor for a while, and then made her usual signs that she wanted to nurse, and she did. Just like nothing had happened at all. I don't know if it was her seeing other babies doing it and remembering that oh yeah, I like that or the fact that I had finally calmed down and wasn't so tense. Whatever it was, I was so relieved.
So what did we learn from all this? 1) I think Lily might be ready for some space of her own. She really likes to sprawl out when she sleeps, and sometimes she goes into torpedo mode and spins and spins and spins in her sleep. So we're going to get a crib this weekend and sidecar it to our bed so she can have some more room. 2) We have to work on napping. I'm going to start a more regular nap routine, similar to bed time, as opposed to just hanging out on the couch. Finally, 3) Lily will eventually stop nursing. And it will be ok.
Now we're both off to take a nap and get caught up on some of the sleep we've been doing without. Sweet dreams!
Last week was absolutely glorious. Spring arrived, I was productive, things were going great. By Friday I was all set to write a cheery I-love-my-life post and then everything fell apart.
The past five days have been the some of the worst I've had in a very long time. Friday evening Lily went on a nursing strike. This doesn't sound like a big deal as I write it, but it completely turned our lives upside down. Lily has always been a huge comfort nurser. If things get a little too exciting during a round of peek-a-boo she likes to nurse for a few minutes to chill out. If we're in a room full of babies for more than 15 minutes she gets overwhelmed and wants to nurse. If she's bored, she wants to nurse. You get the picture. But even more importantly, she nurses to go to sleep and to stay asleep. So no nursing means no sleeping.
I know what you're thinking, well it's your own fault for letting her develop that habit. I don't really have a good retort to that because it is. But I do have a defense for making that choice. Lily had a really hard time gaining weight when she was a newborn and our pediatrician suggested that she sleep in bed with us so that she could nurse as often and as long as she wanted. (I miss you Dr. Callie!) We were planning on doing that anyway, but it was nice to have "permission" from the doctor. I had been sitting up with her nursing for hours at a time. The longest stretch was 12 hours. She would fall asleep and then immediately wake up if she stopped nursing. So we figured out how to nurse lying down. That way I could sleep while she was sleeping/nursing. It was amazing. And it kept working. We were getting regular sleep, Lily was growing, life was good.
We figured if it ain't broke, don't fix it. This was working for us, why should we try to change it just for the sake of change? By 6 months she was becoming a more "normal" sleeper in that she would still nurse to fall asleep, but then stop and roll over to sleep on her own for up to 6 hours at a time. Also, she was such a good nurser I wasn't concerned about taking her anywhere because I knew that if she got upset I could just nurse her for a bit and she'd be good to go.
So this nursing strike really hit us hard. After 2 nights of barely sleeping, driving and walking for hours to get her to sleep, she was at least able to sleep for 6 hours at a time at night again. I was surprised by how much this affected me emotionally. After having such a good few months of nursing, all the insecurities of how hard it was when we first started came rushing back. I felt inadequate and inept. I didn't know how to calm my daughter, I was exhausted, and I hated being a slave to the pump. I felt completely trapped in the apartment because I was afraid to go anywhere with her if she got upset, and anytime she was calm enough to be happy on her own I needed to be pumping. It was like starting all over with a newborn again, except this time I was pretty much on my own.
I basically spent four days in tears and super stressed out. Why is breastfeeding so hard? Monkeys manage to do it and they don't need support groups, lactation consultants, or herbal supplements. What about our 2% genetic difference makes it easier for them? On Wednesday I went to a breastfeeding support group to see if they could offer any help. Not so much, but it was nice to talk to some other moms and be out of the house. The LC said it was unlikely that she's ready to wean because she's less than 12 months old, so I should just keep trying. Driving home I decided that it was going to be ok. Lily was adjusting to the whole not nursing thing, she was happy, she was still gaining weight, I would pump as much as I could and supplement with formula as needed, and things would be fine. When we got home she played on the floor for a while, and then made her usual signs that she wanted to nurse, and she did. Just like nothing had happened at all. I don't know if it was her seeing other babies doing it and remembering that oh yeah, I like that or the fact that I had finally calmed down and wasn't so tense. Whatever it was, I was so relieved.
So what did we learn from all this? 1) I think Lily might be ready for some space of her own. She really likes to sprawl out when she sleeps, and sometimes she goes into torpedo mode and spins and spins and spins in her sleep. So we're going to get a crib this weekend and sidecar it to our bed so she can have some more room. 2) We have to work on napping. I'm going to start a more regular nap routine, similar to bed time, as opposed to just hanging out on the couch. Finally, 3) Lily will eventually stop nursing. And it will be ok.
Now we're both off to take a nap and get caught up on some of the sleep we've been doing without. Sweet dreams!
4.05.2011
Week 13
I ended up at 171. I've added some free weights to the rotation. They're easy to do at home with Lily.
M: Upper body. 3 sets of 10 reps at 5 lbs (bench press, flyes, standing dumbell press, bent-over flye, one-arm overhead triceps, lying dumbell triceps). 5 mi walk.
T: Too much cake last night but it's gone now. 5 min warm up/cool down + 30 min of intervals (5 x 60 seconds run, 60 seconds walk, 10 x 15 seconds sprint, 45 seconds jog, 5 x 60 seconds run, 60 seconds walk). It felt great to flat out run, even for such short amounts of time. Also felt great to get up on my toes and sprint. Love it.
W: Too many tacos last night. Uber sore. Lower body. 3 sets of 10 reps at 5 lbs (squats, lunges, stiff-legged deadlift, bridges, calf raises).
Th: 1 hour stroll
F: Core. 3 sets of 10 reps at 5 lbs (deadlifts, bent over row, hammer curl, reverse curl, mini-crunch, bikes)
S: 10 min warm up 3 x 1 mile run with 1/2 mile walk in between (all under 11 minutes with the jogging stroller!).
S: Not much.
M: Upper body. 3 sets of 10 reps at 5 lbs (bench press, flyes, standing dumbell press, bent-over flye, one-arm overhead triceps, lying dumbell triceps). 5 mi walk.
T: Too much cake last night but it's gone now. 5 min warm up/cool down + 30 min of intervals (5 x 60 seconds run, 60 seconds walk, 10 x 15 seconds sprint, 45 seconds jog, 5 x 60 seconds run, 60 seconds walk). It felt great to flat out run, even for such short amounts of time. Also felt great to get up on my toes and sprint. Love it.
W: Too many tacos last night. Uber sore. Lower body. 3 sets of 10 reps at 5 lbs (squats, lunges, stiff-legged deadlift, bridges, calf raises).
Th: 1 hour stroll
F: Core. 3 sets of 10 reps at 5 lbs (deadlifts, bent over row, hammer curl, reverse curl, mini-crunch, bikes)
S: 10 min warm up 3 x 1 mile run with 1/2 mile walk in between (all under 11 minutes with the jogging stroller!).
S: Not much.