Memphis

This post comes with a soundtrack. Please click here to listen to my YouTube playlist while you read the rest.

We took The City of New Orleans, an overnight train, to Memphis, Tennessee for spring break. It was awesome. Here's the proof.

Our train was to depart at 8PM, so we got to Union Station early for dinner and to give Lily a chance to run around and burn some energy before getting on the train. Here she is peering off a balcony at daddy, who took the picture. 

We had reserved a roomette on the train. Basically it's a private little space with two seats that fold down into a bed with another bed that folds down from above. Here we are all smashed into one seat for our first attempt at a cheesy hold your arm out picture of the trip. The train was awesome. We had a big window, all your meals are included (surprisingly they served dinner to us around 9:30 in the dining car), and it's more comfortable than a plane. Lily and I snuggled into the lower bunk while Joe climbed into the upper. Once Lily fell asleep, she slept soundly the whole night. Then we woke up at 6 and got off the train in Memphis. On the way back we got to have breakfast in the dining car and then sat in the lounge car watching the sunrise for a while. This is definitely a cool and efficient way to travel if you have kids that sleep well. The second picture is Lily holding her baby up to the window so she can see the view as well. 

The first day we spent mostly renting a car, getting supplies, and checking into the hotel and then resting. The day after that we visited the Shiloh National Military Park, in commemoration of the 150th anniversary of the Civil War battle which took place there. This is the battle where John Wesley Powell lost his arm (a general badass, but of particular importance to geology - he was the first to go through the Grand Canyon, with one arm). We took a million pictures, but this one is pretty representative of the whole day. Walking around in pretty woods with Lily trying to pick things up along the way. It was pretty great. 

Sunday Lily and I spent the early afternoon in the Memphis Botanical Garden's My Big Back Yard, their children's garden. It's similar to the Children's Garden at the Morton Arboretum. Lily had a blast. Here she is making some 'soup' outside of one of the cutest play houses I've ever seen. I'm totally making one of these once we have a yard of our own. And just below she's standing in front of a bottle tree and painted gourd chain that I will also be constructing at our own place. 

The next two nights we splurged and stayed at the Peabody Hotel, home of the famous Peabody Ducks. They are these ducks that live on the roof of the hotel, and every day at 11 they ride down an elevator and march into the lobby where they climb up into a fountain to spend the day. Then at 5 they reverse the ceremony and go up to roost for the night. I'm not sure how I feel about the poor little ducks, but Lily LOVED them. Every time we got in the elevator she started to quack because she knew we were going to see the ducks. 

For the first time Lily had fun swimming in the pool. She seriously thought she was a fish and wanted to take off all on her own. She was kicking and paddling like a little baby swimming machine. 

Obligatory cheesy picture of us on Beale Street. Lily was asleep in the stroller so it's just the two of us, like old times. 

We only rented a car for the first few days, so after that we walked and took public transportation, which in Memphis means trollies! They were so fun, and cheap. Lily had a blast riding next to the open air windows and every time one rolled past us she would stop and point and say "Wow!"

The last night in Memphis I took Lily up to the roof to say goodnight to the ducks. They have their own little miniature Peabody Hotel, a nice pond, and lots of space to waddle around. As we were riding up the elevator, a bunch of men got on wearing AutoZone name tags. When we got to the top there was a big sign that said "Closed for a private event." I was crushed. What do you do once you've told a toddler you're going to say goodnight to the ducks for the last time and then you can't do it? Well, a nice man from the elevator said "Go on, no one will mind." So Lily and I snuck onto the roof, where there were a few scant cocktail tables and not a lot of people yet. When we got to the Duck Palace they were all snuggled up and asleep. One hen was near the door and Lily squatted right down next to her and said "Ni-ni" in a quiet little voice. I just about melted into the roof it was so sweet. Then as we walked back towards the elevators she of course started quacking loudly, attracting the attention of all the big burley AutoZone men and they all laughed.  

The view from our window at the Peabody. 

All in all, it was a great trip. And a much needed vacation from studying and cleaning and craziness. I'm going to write a whole separate post about what and where we ate because it was that good. As much fun as we had, we're definitely glad to be back!

Mama Bear

When I was taking that Baby and Me yoga class last year I remember hearing some of the moms talking about situations where they felt like a Mama Bear, ready to protect their cub from whatever danger they sensed was nearby. I haven't really experienced that until today. There was no actual danger, but I am feeling awfully defensive. 


Today Lily and I sat in on a parent-child class. About 15 minutes in I knew it wasn't going to be the kind of thing that I was going to sign up for, but we stuck it out for the full two hours. Mostly, things were okay. There was one mom and her 2.5 year old daughter Rachel (names have been changed to protect identities). The mom and daughter were wearing matching outfits. Rachel was pretty shy, and Lily, as we all know, is not. She ran right up and waved hello then tried to give her a hug. This was met with fear and shrinking away. I totally get that, not everyone is into being touched by strangers. So I helped Lily back off, and we went to go play with some toys. 


Lily is VERY interested in playing with other kids. And she really likes to try to play with the same toys they are playing with. And she likes to take a close look at the toy before playing with it. Not that she wants to take them away and play with them herself, she really does want to play together. Unfortunately, this comes off as she's trying to be selfish. Rachel was playing with a certain doll, not hers, just a doll that was in the classroom. Lily came over to look at it and Rachel's mom says "Rachel is playing with this doll." So I brought over another doll for her to play with. That's fine, I get advocating for your kid. I also get not wanting to make your kid be the one who has to share all the time. This same scene happened repeatedly over the next half an hour. Personally, I think it was time for any other kid to get a chance to play with that doll, not just mine, but whatever. Let your kid monopolize the toy. 


Lily is also very energetic. She's interested in EVERYTHING and wants to do it all. At one point Rachel's mom turns to me and says, "What sign is Lily?" It took me a second to realize she was asking about her horoscope. I had to admit that I didn't know. Her birthday is July 23rd, so that apparently makes her a Leo. Rachel's mom says "Oh, that makes sense, she's so rambunctious" and picks up her child and walks away to another part of the room. Really? She's a toddler. Of course she's rambunctious. Maybe your kid was a lump that just sat there and never wanted to run and jump and dance and be joyful, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with my daughter. They do say that laughter is contagious, but I don't think they mean that to be a bad thing. 


Then at the end of class, Lily walked over to Rachel again. I was right there because clearly this was not going to go well. Lily reached out her hand to pat Rachel on the head, her way of saying 'I like you.' Rachel, surprisingly, was ok with this. Sadly, Lily's hand then got tangled in Rachel's hair and when she tried to move away she pulled her hair a teeny bit. Rachel was fine. Let me stress this. The child was still calm, not upset, not crying, not in pain, it really was just a little tiny tug. And I reached out to catch her hand as soon as I could to try to  help her untangle it. Rachel's mom grabbed her wrist first and basically shouted at her "Let go right now." This seemed a little harsh to me. Lily didn't do it on purpose. It was everything in me to not snap back "Get your hand off my kid." I think all kids deserve patience and compassion. Other kids have pulled Lily's hair before, it happens. And I've NEVER yelled at another child, let alone grab them. 


I feel so conflicted. Part of me is definitely feeling Mama Bear defensive about Lily. She is a happy, joyful, inquisitive, kind child. She wants to be friends with everyone and the way she shows that is by trying to hold hands and hug. She has a lot of energy but she's not overly destructive or out of control. She is imaginative and creative. So no, Rachel's mom, I'm not sorry that my kid was trying to make your kid feel included. And the other part of me feels terribly insecure and unsure. I left that class just about in tears. It's been a long time since I've been made to feel so small by another person. I could feel the loathing oozing from Rachel's mom. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I'm never going to see her again, but I still want her to think that I'm not a bad parent, that Lily's not a bad kid. 


Sigh, I don't know. Some days I feel like I'm doing it all wrong.

Ejumikashun

Before I delve into this touchy subject, let me make three things clear: 


1) I believe in public education. I am a product of public schools and have every intent of sending my child to public school. 
2) I previously taught at a charter school, which is technically a public school. ACPA Griffon Pride! I believe there is a place for charter schools within public school systems, but they are not the answer to larger, systemic problems. 
3) I believe that standardized test scores are merely a reflection of a school's student demographics, and not a true representation of the educational abilities of the teachers and staff of that school.


Okay, now for the discussion setup. I have a daughter. She will be 2 years old at the end of July. We live in Chicago. We are not sure where we will end up after Joe graduates. The plan is to eventually move back out towards River Grove, but for the foreseeable future our home is here. Which means we need to start thinking about schools. In Chicago, kids start preschool at age three and kindergarten at age five. If you're not aware, the Chicago Public School system is pretty dismal, with the exception of some pretty good magnet and charter schools. We live on the South Side of Chicago (gasp, shock, what are you thinking?!?!). We love it here. Near the University of Chicago there is some diversity, but outside of that this is predominantly a black community. So where do we send our daughter to school??? 


Option 1: The neighborhood school. Our local public elementary school currently has about 50% of students meeting state and federal standards. That's pretty low, but I could deal with that. Less than one percent of the student body is non-black. In a school of 350 kids, that's less than four. I do not think that my daughter is "too good" to go to a school with black students. I would be okay if she went to a school where she was in the minority. I am, however, concerned about her being the ONLY kid in her class or grade that's different. And I'm concerned by the parent reviews citing frequent violence on school grounds as reasons for withdrawing their students. So that's out. 


Option 2: A public magnet or charter school. There are a few of these nearby that are great. Still a majority black population, but a greater percentage of other ethnicities as well. It's a total crapshoot to get into these schools. It's based on a lottery system, and then your place is weighted by whether you live within some magic boundary or not. So in case she doesn't get into one of these we have to consider Option 3.


Option 3: Private school. I bristle just at the thought of it. I'm a public school kid through and through. Private school is for snobs and people who think they're better than everyone else. And a private preschool seems like the worst of it. I mean preschool is preschool, right? They color, learn letters and shapes, get socialized a bit. How much can it vary, really? And not only that, but there are admission requirements. To preschool. For real. A common one is having previously attended Nursery School. I'm not even kidding. That means they want your child to be in school at age 2. Two years old! 


And this, dear friends, is why I am freaking out right now. Lily will be two in the fall. I don't want her to start going to school yet. I want her to be a kid. To play, and have friends, and be relaxed and unscheduled. I'm sure she would be just fine at a nursery school for two half-days a week. She'd probably love it. I just can't believe that starting a two year old at school, nursery or otherwise, is a good thing. And it is SOOOOO expensive here. Also, the waiting lists are very long. It's almost too late at this point to try to sign her up for something starting in September. But if we don't put her in a nursery school, she won't get into a decent preschool, she won't ever learn to read or do math, and she won't have a happy life. Stop. Breathe.


I just don't know what to do. All of this is so overwhelming and it seems so ridiculous to be worrying about it when she's not even 20 months old yet. It just feels like if I choose the wrong thing now I'm going to ruin her life forever.  

Resolution Check-in 2

So another month has passed and I'm still keeping track of my resolutions. 

1) Exercise for 20 minutes per day. Eh, I did alright this month. I exercised more days than not, 18 out of 29 days. Not as good as last month, but I still didn't gain any weight. Which is more than I can say for last February, that's for sure. I did actually run three out of the four weeks, but I only did two weeks with one day of weights. Which is almost like not doing any at all. So this next month's challenge remains the same. One day of real running and one day of real weights per week. 

2) Send one letter per week. This was mostly true. I sent at least one thing for three weeks, and one of those weeks I sent lots of things so I think that makes up for the last week. Not to mention that one of the things I sent was a cake. And the other was a Socktopus!

I've been knitting this guy for a year. I started him for a friend who had a baby LAST February and hoped to send it to her shortly thereafter. In combination with my stocking fail and general un-craftiness for a time, it took way longer than expected. Embarrassingly so. Not to mention the thing has eight legs. Next time I decide to make a toy for someone I'm going to limit the number of limbs to two. I got the pattern from Knitty. 

3) Bake and decorate one thing outside of work per month. Since I'm still technically NOT working, everything I bake and decorate is outside of work. See this post. And see these pictures:   

There is this fun website called Cake Central that's sort of like Wikipedia meets Facebook for cake nerds. And they have fun contests every once in a while. This month's was Owl Themed Cakes. Lily LOVES the book In My Tree about a family of owls. So I had to make a cake based on it. The leaves ended up looking like eggs, but oh well. They're made from Wilton's new Sugar Sheets. I was skeptical at first, but they're actually pretty fun to use. They are EXTREMELY over priced, though. 

4) Stop comparing myself to other moms. My planner, my daughter, and I had great fun together this month. And I have the squiggles, arrows, and lines in my planner to prove it. I'm still a little jealous of B's craftiness, but I try to channel that into inspiration to be a little bit creative each day. 

Valentine's Day

I know this is super late, but I want to write about it anyway. Joe and I have never been big Valentine's Day celebrators. I can't remember even ever sending a card or anything. I probably sent something while he was deployed because if you can't NOT send anything when your fiance is at war, but other than that I think not. 

But having a toddler changes all that. There's just so much cute stuff! I made the mistake of wandering the $1 aisle at Target shortly before Valentine's Day and I couldn't help myself. Lily loves to pretend to smell flowers, so I got her some of those big plush ones, some animal crackers as a special treat, and some real flowers to grow in our window. The cards were sent by family. 

We also made some Valentine's cards and sent them to random people we know. Really we were just painting one day and Lily was learning the names of all her different body parts and painting with them, so we of course made hand prints. And I cut out heart shapes. Bam. Instant Valentine. I don't have any pictures, so you'll just have to imagine how great they were. 

This last week we planted her plants! First you add the water...

... then you put the dirt in the pots...

... then you wait for them to grow!

Lily had a TON of fun mixing the dirt and the water. She also liked sprinkling the seeds in the pot, until she tried to eat one. Sigh. 

Random Acts of Cuteness

As you may remember, or more likely not, I lost the cord to my camera. And then I dropped my camera on the ground and broke it. Sad face. Then, my camera magically fixed itself. Happy face! And my mom has a similar camera with a cord that fits. So now I have lots of pictures to share with you. 

Lily found her Halloween costume from last year and has been wearing it around the house a lot. I love it so much. 

One day she actually let me put her hair in pigtails. It was unbearably cute. 

Lily's new favorite place to eat snacks... UNDER her table. 

Lily is going through this phase where everything she does, one of her dolls has to do, too. Or, she has to be the 'big girl' and the doll is the 'baby'. She likes changing her dolls clothes, feeding them, and pushing them around in her stroller. And at breakfast she force feeds them yogurt.

Lily and I both got new robes for Christmas. She insists on putting it on every morning. And sometimes randomly in the middle of the day.

Lily LOVES her Duplo blocks. She can build a tower as tall as she is as long as there is someone there to hold it while she puts each block on top. She has only mastered the small square ones, but boy does this girl like to build. 

Having a kid is way more fun than I thought it would be. Seriously.