At the risk of jinxing myself, I'm going to go ahead and say it: Lily is potty trained. I did a lot of internet reading about it before hand, and while a lot of people wrote something about it. they never really talked about how much it can suck.
Here are some of the details: we got Lily a potty chair almost a year ago, and for about two weeks she went every morning and before bed. Then she refused it completely. We never pushed it, and she would randomly ask to sit on it, but had very little success producing anything. My plan was to do the bare-bottom thing when she turned 2 in July, but then we had two big trips planned for August and September, so we decided to wait until those were done.
Then on Friday, September 28th I just took her diaper off and said, ok, we're going to use the potty today. That day was absolute hell, for a number of reasons. First, I barely slept the night before. Next, I cut my foot on a piece of glass from a hot sauce bottle I broke. And I wasn't prepared for how intense it was going to be. We removed all the carpet from our bedroom, because it has tile floor and is easy to clean. We put a bunch of toys in there, and turned on the TV with the plan of staying in there most of the day to contain the carnage. I get cabin fever pretty quickly, so staying inside, in one room all day was torturous. If I were to do it again, I would pick a day that both me and Joe were home so we could have taken shifts. You literally just have to watch them all day, and as soon as they start to do anything move them to the potty. All morning I was cleaning up messes. Then we took a much needed break for a nap, so a diaper went on. When we woke up, I took it off, and Lily just wanted to sit in my lap and cry. She kept saying "No big girl, baby!" I just about gave up then. But I told myself I had to stick with it for 3 days and then we would re-evaluate. As the afternoon went on, she would pee a little and say "Oh! Pee!" and then when I said stop she would and I could get her to the potty. So, a tiny bit of progress. But still, it was a LOOOONNNNGGGGG day.
Then through the magic of sleeping brain development she woke up the next morning, I took off her diaper, she peed in the potty, and things were pretty much good to go. After we finished breakfast, she said "Oh pee!" and ran to the potty, made it all the way there and went. From then on she just wore a skirt around the house and pull-ups for going out and sleeping. The pull-up worked pretty well in that it didn't leak, but it felt just like a diaper so about half of the time she would just go in it. But, I was eight months pregnant and not willing to deal with accidents in public so we decided to wait until after Thomas came to progress any further. At the beginning of February she started wearing pants around the house and a week later we got her some little girl underwear. She gets really excited to pick out a new pair each morning.
I was originally against incentivizing it at all, but we ended up doing it anyway. She got 2 M&M's every time she actually went in the potty and then washed her hands. We've since switched to animal crackers and at this point it's mostly a bribe to get her to wash her hands. But it works. And it comes in handy when I know she has to go when we're out somewhere. Usually as soon as I say 'do you want an animal cracker' she's more than willing to try, and half the time goes. We're not even going to attempt bedtime until we move in the summer because even though she stays dry all night, we're still sharing a bed and I'm just not ready to deal with that in the middle of the night.
Now that we're on the other side of it, I totally wish we had just done it in the summer. It was beastly hot here and we were trapped inside anyway, not looking out at the pretty fall weather for three days. That's not a problem now, but I struggled with it that weekend.
So that's the nitty-gritty of it. Now that's done, it's totally amazing. Except now I have to carry a pink princess potty seat with me everywhere because regular sized toilets are way too big for her to sit on without falling through.