Half Baked

I am halfway through this pregnancy, 20 weeks. And it feels like it has just flown by. Last time I was thinking, planning, worrying so much about everything it felt a lot longer. This time I have so many other things to keep track of, this is honestly usually at the bottom of my list. 

I am starting to get a little baby bump as evidenced by the photo below. I still haven't gained a single pound, though. That's mostly due to eliminating dairy from my diet. The weight will be coming quick, though, I know. 

I've been able to feel the baby kick for about a week now, and it's very reassuring. It is comforting to get a reminder that everything is still okay a couple of times an hour. 

My pre-natal care experience is VERY different this time around. With Lily, we were going to the Birth and Women's Health Center in Tucson. Instead of regular pre-natal check-ups we joined the Centering group for women due around the same time as me. There were about 10 of us, plus all of the partners, and instead of going to individual appointments, we had group appointments in the evenings. It was really nice to have a group of people to chat with while you waited for your turn with the midwife. It was also a childbirth education class, so we knocked that all out at the same time. The only appointments we had separately were for blood work or ultrasounds. I loved it. I loved seeing the same people each month, and then each week. I loved having Joe there every time. I loved not having to take off work to be there. It was just awesome. 

This time, I'm with the West Suburban Mid-Wives, affiliated with West Suburban Hospital in Oak Park. Same general practice and belief structure, but this time no Centering. I just go to regular appointments, wait in a regular waiting room, and then wait alone in the exam room. Joe was able to come to the first appointment, but none since because of his work schedule. Thankfully, that will be changing soon, but honestly, the early appointments are the most nerve-wracking. Each time I've gone I've been convinced they were going to find something terribly wrong. 

Part of this paranoia was due to not being able to feel the baby move yet and not really showing any outward signs of being pregnant. Part of it was just feeling so alone. Sitting and waiting and thinking has never been good for me. I am a worrier anyway, but given time and space to really consider things and my mind tends to the catastrophic very easily. This is not a reflection on the mid-wives, they're great. It's just very different than what I had before. I'm not know for coping with change very well, this is just something that I need to get used to. 

In other related news, we got Lily one of those "I'm a Big Sister Now!" books to read. She really likes looking at the pictures of the Big Sister and the New Baby together. That, combined with her newfound love for the story of Cinderella, and she's starting to understand the concept of a sister. Not that Anastasia and Drizella are role models or anything, but she knows the word 'sister' now, and really likes to act out scenes with them. She also has great fun taking care of a number of different babies that she has spread across our place, as well as both of her grandparents' houses. She's doing a good job of sharing with younger kids at the Tot Lot we go to in the mornings some days as well. Kids the same age and older, not so much, but she has some sense that smaller people can't do as much as she can. At first, people would say "Oh Lily is going to be such a good big sister!" and I wasn't too sure. But now I agree. Lily, you're going to be a great big sister.