Due

So today is the official due date, December 4th, 2012. So far, no signs of anything really. I don't know why, but I was convinced this baby boy was going to come early. That's pretty silly, if you think about it. Lily was induced at 39 weeks and 3 days, so clearly I should have expected to go at least that far. I was just being hopeful that for convenience's sake the new one would come early. 

Yesterday at the appointment, the midwife checked and I'm all of 1 cm dilated. That means absolutely nothing. Apparently as a second time mom you can be that dilated for your entire pregnancy if anyone bothered to check.  Previously, I had been really worried about having pre-eclampsia again. Well, it's most likely that won't happen again. My blood pressure has been super low and consistent, there's little to no swelling, and my kidneys are functioning perfectly. As of tomorrow, I officially enter the real of post-date pregnancy which brings with it a whole new set of worries. 

Turns out I am absolutely terrified of being medically induced again. If I have to be induced I have to use a regular labor and delivery room, and basically it will be just like last time, which I really don't want. At the end of this week I have to go in for my first non-stress-test (which has to be the most poorly named test EVER) to make sure that the baby is not in distress and it's ok to just keep rolling along. I also have the opportunity to have my membranes swept (I'll spare you the details, basically it's a simple procedure that might help get things going). 

I've been thinking about this a lot. I even put up a facebook quandary about it that many people responded to. After talking to one of the midwives about it pretty extensively, I've decided to go ahead and do it at my next appointment on Friday, if I make it that long. (All signs point to yes.) If there's any chance that it means that I don't have to be medically induced, I am willing to try it. And again and again and again. Because apparently doing it once is not really effective, but doing it every few days can mean the difference between spontaneous and induced labor. Although, truthfully, I'm a little confused how it's still considered 'spontaneous' if you've basically been enraging the baby every couple of days, but whatever. I'll take it if it means I can use the Alternative Birth Center. 

I know I shouldn't be freaking out as much as I am. There are two whole weeks before medical induction becomes necessary, and there are lots of other things I can try, too. I'm taking evening primrose oil, drinking red raspberry leaf tea, and walking some. If I walk too much it just makes me tired and prevents me from sleeping because my hips hurt. 

I'm having a hard time filling the hours with Lily. I don't want to venture too far from home in case something happens, but I also don't want to just stay inside baking/cleaning/watching TV (which has been happening way too much lately). We're still going to our classes, and I try to take her to the park or something fun outside each day for a little bit. This weather is so nice, but I think it would be easier if it were cold. I would feel less guilty about being inside. I have several Christmas projects that need work on, but I'm having trouble getting things done with Lily around. She wants to be part of everything, and some of the things I'm making she just can't help with and she refuses to be distracted by anything else. 

Sigh, so I'm just feeling frustrated, tired, uncomfortable, and ready to be done. I know you're not supposed to complain about being pregnant because there are many women who would give anything to have these complaints. But I just can't help it. And I can't think of anything worse than being pregnant right now. Except being pregnant and Kate Middleton.