Happy

I complain about parenting. A lot. The spills, the messes, the crying, the poop, the touching, the reading, the cooking, everything. It's no secret that I don't love this every minute of every day. 

There have been a few articles making the rounds on Facebook about things you'll miss when your kids are older. And I read them and always think, yeah, well, everything's better when you're remembering it. I kind of smirk and think you just don't remember how much it sucks. 

This morning in my inbox was an email from the Park District of Oak Park proclaiming that they are looking to hire people for the summer. Specifically, environmental educators to teach summer camp at the Oak Park Conservatory just a few blocks from our house. My first thought, this is perfect. This is exactly the kind of job I'm looking for right now. Something education and environmental related. Close to home. Doesn't start until June. Only for the summer. Perfect. 

Then I thought about all the fun things I'm looking forward to doing this summer. Baseball games, the zoo, taking the train all over the city, gardening, running, swimming, playing. And most of all, not having a schedule. I am usually the type of person who LOVES having a schedule, but right now I'm feeling kind of trapped by it. So the spontaneity and hours of summer sunshine hold the promise of freedom and happiness. I'm excited about having two KIDS, not babies. I'm excited about being with those KIDS, who can walk and run and jump and explore and dig and splash. And suddenly, working four days a week from 8-4 doesn't sound so great. 

After breakfast, Joe took the kids for a museum adventure downtown. I got to go to a yoga class, walk home in the very pretty snow (I can't wait for it to go away, but when it's falling it is so very pretty), straighten up the house, make myself lunch, and just catch my breath. Now I'm sitting on the couch, in a clean empty house, watching the Olympics, sipping tea, soon to be knitting, and what do I want? I desperately want to kiss Thomas's chubby face until he giggles uncontrollably and gives me the biggest, bestest baby hug ever. I want to answer Lily's 1,437,568 questions about the Olympics, princesses, snow, and the meaning of life. I spend all day, every day with them, and now that I finally get a chance to be alone, once the house is clean, all I want is to be with them some more.

I'm surprised to realize that in spite of myself, I am enjoying this season of life. That the trite expression 'The days are long, but the years are short' is true. That I am, in fact, happy.