Co-sleeping

A lot of people, friends and random strangers, have been asking me about this lately so it seems like it deserves a post. I've written a little about this before, but I can't find it and things have changed since then anyway. 


We are confirmed co-sleepers. Some people call it bed sharing, or just part of attachment parenting, but whatever you call it Lily sleeps in our bed. She has been sleeping with us since she was born. Starting around 9 months she was sleeping at least part of the night in a crib in our room, but by 15 months she was getting too big to put down without waking up. So now she's back with us. We have a crib with one side removed bungee-corded to our bed frame so she has some extra space to spread out in. 


The thing you need to keep in mind when co-sleeping is that generally your kid needs more sleep than you do, so unless you have the world's greatest morning sleeper, they need to go to bed earlier than you do. For us that means around 8PM I give Lily a bath, put on her PJ's, give her a kiss goodnight and hand her off to Joe. He takes over and helps her brush her teeth, then lies down on the bed with her until she falls asleep. This whole thing - bath to sound sleep - takes about 45 minutes. Then he can usually get out of bed without waking her up, build a protective fort of pillows along the edge of the bed so she can't roll off, and we get to hang out sans toddler for a couple of hours before going to bed ourselves. 


Obviously, this doesn't always go according to plan. Sometimes (like right now) I can hear her chattering away to him almost an hour later. Sometimes she wakes up if you twitch a muscle and so you're trapped in bed. Sometimes the grown-up falls asleep, too, and that's fine. But most nights, it goes off without a hitch. 


The thing most people ask about is, ahem, 'alone time'. All I'll say is, you'll figure it out. We're having another baby in December, so there's proof enough. And no, we're not like creepy Maggie Gyllenhaal in 'Away We Go' (which if you're expecting or have kids and haven't seen this movie, you need to rent it now). 


This works for us. I like having her so close so I don't have to get out of bed when she wakes up in the middle of the night. I like when I wake up first and she's still asleep but slowly wakes up, smiles and says "Mama!" I like feeling her little body snuggled next to mine when she gets cold. I like having half an hour a day all to myself, no baby, no husband, nothing. I like having a couple of hours for just Joe and me to sit and talk, or read, or watch grown-up TV, or whatever. I like that Lily and Joe have something that only they do together. (When I have to put her to bed it's usually a disaster.) Joe likes having the time with her. Lily likes having the time with Dada. It's good for all of us. 


I know lots of people who would hate this arrangement. And that's totally cool. We do this because it works for us, not because we think it's superior parenting. We started it out of laziness and cheapness (we didn't want to buy a crib in Tucson only to have to pay/work to move it 6 weeks later). 


I also have no idea what we're going to do when the new baby comes in December. Originally the plan was to try to transition Lily to a toddler bed or a twin bed after she turned two. But I don't want it to seem like she's being replaced by the new baby. And it'll be getting cold then. For a kid who refuses to sleep under a blanket, parental body heat is a requirement. We also don't really have the room for another bed, anywhere. So, the plan now is to just all snuggle together and see how that works. Once it stops working, then we'll try something else. Suggestions are certainly welcome. 


So I guess that's it. Basically we've just been winging it and making it up as we go along. Sweet dreams!