Feeling Lucky

I ran the Get Lucky 7k on Saturday.,I registered shortly after joining a gym to give myself something to work towards. It went great. It was down in Jackson Park, all along the lakefront where I used to run when we lived in Hyde Park. It was so nice to be on roads that I knew.

 I usually have two goals for a race: don't finish last and don't walk. I definitely didn't finish last, and I came in well under my goal time of one hour (46:08 to be exact). As for not walking, well I have been running and walking all during training, and I did during the race as well. It seems like right now my body likes to run half a mile and then walk a quarter. I can pretty much go forever if I do that and still be able to move the next day. It was all fine and well while I was on the treadmill, but it was WAY hard to stop and walk after just a half mile into the race. Everything in me said don't quit! You can make it the whole way! But I also knew that if I did that I would be terribly sore the next day and probably seriously injure myself. So I swallowed my pride and walked. After that first stop, it got easier. I actually really love run/walking because it gives me a chance to reset my form and make sure that everything is going fine. 

Here are my two little leprechauns modeling my finishers medal. This is now the face Thomas makes when you say you're going to take a picture of him. And Lily has decided that covering her face is the optimal pose.

This race was exactly what I needed. Motivation to get back into the habit of working out regularly and forcing me to get back into running. I feel like I can safely put myself back in the 'runner' category now. I think my next step is going to be focusing on my arms and abs, while trying to run faster, lighter, and longer (more running, less walking). Any races I do will probably be stroller friendly 5ks. I'm really looking forward to the warmer weather and running outside again. 

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Good Eats

This has been the winter of the casserole. I didn't eat a lot of casseroles growing up, and I'm hard pressed to remember ever actually cooking one before. But something about them has just been so appealing for the past couple of months. Warm meat and cheese and carbs and veggies all in one dish. Amazing. I've tried several recipes, and thrown together random ingredients and leftovers. I'm kind of obsessed. 

The one recipe I keep coming back to is shepherd's pie from The Baby Bistro Cookbook. This is a fairly ridiculous book that is a little too sanctimonious for me, but it has great recipes. 

Ingredients:
2 potatoes, peeled and cut into 1" pieces
1 pound ground beef or lamb
1 small onion, chopped
1 cup tomato sauce
1/2 cup milk
1 cup frozen thawed mixed vegetables (peas, carrots, corn, etc.)
1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

*Note: I use instant potatoes because it's easier so I skip a few steps, and I've used bison before. So good. Also I never measure cheese. I just shredd it until I have enough to cover it.

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 375*F.

Put the potatoes in a medium saucepan with enough water to cover. Bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce the heat to medium-high and continue boiling for 10-15 minutes or until the potatoes are tender when pierced with a fork. 

While the potatoes are cooking, in a large skillet, cook the ground beef or lamb over medium-high heat, crumbling it with a spoon. Spoon off and discard any excess fat. Add the onion and cook, stirring occasionally, for 10 minutes or until the onion is translucent. Stir in the tomato sauce and remove from the heat.

Drain the potatoes and return them to the saucepan. Add the milk to the potatoes and mash until smooth. Spoon the meat mixture into a 2-quart casserole dish. (I used a pie plate.) Top with the frozen vegetables. Cover with the mashed potatoes and sprinkle the Cheddar cheese on top.

Bake for 30-45 minutes or until heated through and the potatoes are just slightly browned. 

Love Buzz

This post is about Valentine's Day. I hate Valentine's Day. I never liked it growing up and I sure didn't like it as a young adult. Now that I have kids? It's awesome. It's fun to teach them about what the different holidays mean, do some decorating, do some baking, do some making of things for other people. All great fun. 

This year I started the holiday off by dying my hair. The color is officially called 'Dark Auburn'. It's more dark than auburn, which is fine by me. I've had grey hair since I started grad school, just a few hairs here and there. Each kid gave me a few more, and now when I put it up in a pony tail I can see the wiry grey buggers sticking out all over the place. I never thought I would be the kind of person to be bothered by this, but I sure was. It makes me look SO OLD. And since I'm not yet 30 (at least for another couple of months) I decided enough is enough. A little semi-permanent hair dye isn't going to kill me. And I love it.

Lily's school delayed celebrating until the next week, so it was just a regular day at school. And a regular day of Thomas desperately trying to convince me that he, too, is in fact big enough to stay at pre-school with his favorite sister. 

I had been looking for an excuse to buy Lily the Frozen Castle Playset and Valentine's Day seemed just right. My mom had previously bought her the barbie sized dolls, and they were just begging for an appropriately scaled mansion to live in. She LOVES it. I can put on the soundtrack and she will happily sit there and play for like an hour at a time. It's fantastic. She prefers to use the small clip dolls when she plays by herself because they're easier for her to manipulate and change their clothes, but when we play together she likes to use the bigger ones. It's so fun.  

I don't even remember what this is all over his face, but it's still cute. 

We made some Valentines for the grandparents and Lily worked really hard to write her name on all of the ones she needed to bring to school. We were going to make our own Valentines for everyone, but once Lily saw the Disney princess ones at Meijer, it was a lost cause. And, honestly, it was enough work just to get her to write her name on them I can't imagine trying to make them all, too. 

Finally, Joe met us for dinner at the Buzz Cafe, here in Oak Park. They were hosting a fancy family dinner with a prix fixe menu. It was so awesome. I would highly recommend this to anyone with small kids who wants a chance to actually go out and eat a nice dinner on Valentine's Day. It was sort of an expected disaster. It took about 15 minutes to seat us, even with the reservations, but everybody was just waiting together, a bunch of kids played together, and people kept good attitudes. Then because the menu was set, the staff didn't have to waste time taking orders, they just brought stuff right out. And it was BYOB, so we got to bring our favorite cheap wine, Koonunga Hill. And it was close enough that we got to drink the whole bottle. They had fun food for the kids, good food for the adults, a guy playing the keyboard, and it was loud. Kids were talking loud, babies were crying or just making baby noises, and it was all ok. This is the most horrible picture of me ever, but it's the only one we got that night. 

This is one of my favorite restaurants in the whole world. We go every Saturday morning for breakfast and to see Joe's dad play with the Farmers' Market Band. I went there today for lunch with the kids because it had been a long morning and they serve peanut butter and jelly. There's a space in the back for the kids to play while waiting for food (not on Saturdays) and the servers are always super nice. I just love it.

So for the first time ever, I think, I can honestly say I had a great Valentine's Day.

Happy

I complain about parenting. A lot. The spills, the messes, the crying, the poop, the touching, the reading, the cooking, everything. It's no secret that I don't love this every minute of every day. 

There have been a few articles making the rounds on Facebook about things you'll miss when your kids are older. And I read them and always think, yeah, well, everything's better when you're remembering it. I kind of smirk and think you just don't remember how much it sucks. 

This morning in my inbox was an email from the Park District of Oak Park proclaiming that they are looking to hire people for the summer. Specifically, environmental educators to teach summer camp at the Oak Park Conservatory just a few blocks from our house. My first thought, this is perfect. This is exactly the kind of job I'm looking for right now. Something education and environmental related. Close to home. Doesn't start until June. Only for the summer. Perfect. 

Then I thought about all the fun things I'm looking forward to doing this summer. Baseball games, the zoo, taking the train all over the city, gardening, running, swimming, playing. And most of all, not having a schedule. I am usually the type of person who LOVES having a schedule, but right now I'm feeling kind of trapped by it. So the spontaneity and hours of summer sunshine hold the promise of freedom and happiness. I'm excited about having two KIDS, not babies. I'm excited about being with those KIDS, who can walk and run and jump and explore and dig and splash. And suddenly, working four days a week from 8-4 doesn't sound so great. 

After breakfast, Joe took the kids for a museum adventure downtown. I got to go to a yoga class, walk home in the very pretty snow (I can't wait for it to go away, but when it's falling it is so very pretty), straighten up the house, make myself lunch, and just catch my breath. Now I'm sitting on the couch, in a clean empty house, watching the Olympics, sipping tea, soon to be knitting, and what do I want? I desperately want to kiss Thomas's chubby face until he giggles uncontrollably and gives me the biggest, bestest baby hug ever. I want to answer Lily's 1,437,568 questions about the Olympics, princesses, snow, and the meaning of life. I spend all day, every day with them, and now that I finally get a chance to be alone, once the house is clean, all I want is to be with them some more.

I'm surprised to realize that in spite of myself, I am enjoying this season of life. That the trite expression 'The days are long, but the years are short' is true. That I am, in fact, happy.

Gym Rat

I joined a gym this week. This sentence is usually part of a New Year's resolution and is written with a sense of excitement and anticipation. For me, like most things, it's a little more fraught. In my head I am still a twenty year old college athlete. My body, however, ten years and two kids later, says otherwise. And, again like most things, I feel the need to justify it.   

1) I am a runner. That means I run outside, rain, shine, snow, cold, whatever. The gym is for when you're sick or injured, or for lifting. And that lifting has to be serious free-weights, not little two-pound dumbbells and certainly not machines. 

The truth is, I am currently not a runner. I haven't run since last summer when we first got the double jogging stroller, and the reason I haven't run since then is because I went at it too hard too fast. So I need to start with walking, then add in SOME jogging, and maybe eventually I will be a runner again. That largely depends on how my crazy, self-dislocating hips hold up. Another truth is that I have become a huge weather wimp. I don't like it to be too cold, too hot, wet, humid, or pretty much anything other than room temperature. By joining a gym, the weather stops being a excuse not to work out. 

2) Working out with your kids is easy and fun! Pop in a video, do some yoga together, put them in the stroller for a jog! It's so great for them to see you being healthy!

That might work for some people, but it absolutely has not worked for me. I've tried doing a video while Thomas naps in the morning, but he invariably wakes up half way through and cries while I finish the rest of it. Doing yoga with two little people around is IMPOSSIBLE. I could deal with the distraction and not being able to really focus, but I can't handle being in downward dog and one kid is climbing onto my back while the other is trying to pants me. As for the stroller, I prefer not to have them strapped into things for long periods of time if they don't have to be. Lily does like to run with me sometimes, so when it's really nice out again we'll probably go for short runs together and I'll push Thomas. That'll be great. When it's warm. The gym has child care. Cheap, cheap childcare. And if I time things right, I get to take a shower. Alone. It's glorious. 

3) I'm an athlete. That means you have to compete. 

I really like to run races. I'm not competitive in the sense that I want to win, I'm competitive with myself. Faster, farther, better splits, whatever. I try to improve something each time I enter a race. And I will do races again. Just not yet. I did the Monster Dash Half Marathon when Lily was 15 months. Thomas will be almost 2 years old by the time that comes around next fall, and MAYBE I'll be ready to do it. We'll see. It's sort of a flexible goal. While I was walking on the treadmill (at 10% incline doing speed intervals) a 50ish woman hopped on next to me and started jogging. It took all of my self-control to not join in. I want to run. I will run. Just not yet. 

4) I should be taking advantage of my time alone with Thomas while Lily is in pre-school instead of shunting him off onto someone else. 

When Lily was a baby, we did a bunch of baby classes. Baby yoga, baby music, baby art (yes, such a thing exists), story times, baby gym. Everything. But I think that mostly was just an excuse for me to get out of our apartment and interact with other adults. Also, it taught me how to interact with my baby. I honestly had no idea what to do with the tiny person they let me leave the hospital with. For Thomas, I feel absolutely no desire to do those things. We do all of those things, sing silly songs, read baby books together, have a tiny plastic slide, play with a million blocks, all day everyday. Sometimes with Lily, sometimes without. Because we co-sleep he's literally within arms reach of me for 24 hours a day. One hour a day less is not going to make a big difference for him, and it absolutely makes a big difference for me. "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. And happy people just don't kill their husbands (or children)." - Elle Woods, Legally Blonde. And he gets to socialize with other kids. Double bonus. 

So these are things I've had to accept. And after going the past two days, I have to admit it's totally been worth it. I can't wait to go back on Monday and walk a little faster, a little farther.   

The Ugly Truth

Lily called me ugly today. 

It really took me by surprise because we never talk about people or things being ugly. I don't call myself or anyone else ugly. I don't know where she got that from. After I told her that hurt my feelings and we talked about how that's not a nice thing to say, she apologized and skipped away to play with her dolls. I went back to cleaning up from lunch and then I cried because the fact of the matter is she was right. 

I was ugly when I grabbed her arm and yelled at her for pushing Thomas down. Why can't I be more understanding that it's hard to always share?

I was ugly when I snapped at Thomas for yelling because he wasn't getting fed fast enough. Why can't I be more patient, he's just a baby.

I feel ugly when I open my drawer and there's only one pair of pants that doesn't have holes in the knees. Why can't I dress like an adult?

I feel ugly when Joe gets home at 8 and I'm still in sweat pants and a ponytail. Again. Why can't I get my act together?

I feel ugly when I wish I could go back in time for a weekend before we had kids. I want it to be just us again. Sleep in, make breakfast, do a crossword, listen to the radio and actually be able to hear it, think/talk/do NOTHING kid related. Why can't I enjoy my kids as much as I should?

I feel ugly when I think I'm better than this. I have too much education to just be doing this. It seems like such a waste. Why doesn't parenting feel like I'm doing 'enough'?

I feel ugly. There is no sweet turning point to this post. No cute little moral. I just feel ugly.